Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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