pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
