Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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