You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
