New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
