what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
