While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
