when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Drunk is a universal language darling
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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