Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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