I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
