at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
