Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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