you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
