Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
