Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Bring me that man meat
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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