It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
