So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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