it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
