Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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