my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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