too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
