Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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