i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
