More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
we made out on top of his cat.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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