I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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