if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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