yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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