Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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