Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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