just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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