Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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