She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
