and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
