so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
