oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
do herpes really smell.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
