She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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