Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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