i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
