wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
