With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
