One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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