You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
