Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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