im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
