Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
