Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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