you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
