how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
