best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
