your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
