nut hugger
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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