i think my mom watched the whole time
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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