i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
